your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
I'll be in my room with a breakfast burrito at 2:30. It's up to you...
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Randomize
