Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I'd cum everywhere if I could have chicken nuggets right now
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
