i'm officially boycotting relationships. hello random hook ups and treating men like meat.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
Downstairs neighbor just asked me to tell people when they jump off the balcony next time not to land on her flowers
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Randomize
