just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I'm drunk at The Bachelor casting call in Cleveland
I cherish every text you send me
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
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