Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Please brint me miilk. I am on the floor but my door is open. Thank you, i appreciate u verry much.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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