thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
I wonder if go pro can customize a cock ring so I don't have to hold the camera anymore
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
Randomize