dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Thats stupid. Your future is a life of less pay for the same work. Free drinks is how capitalism reimburses women for its inequality. & youre not even taking it!
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
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