plz talk dirty to me
Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
He made fire alarm noises before throwing up all over the street.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Your feet probs hurt bc the cab driver kicked us out a mile from home after you wouldn't stop screaming "prohibition can suck my dick"
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize