So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
fine. I googled it. you have to eat 5 to die so apparently I'm in the clear.
I feel like I just walked the hall of shame thru the marriott. Everyone stared.
I think it was the shoes and limping. Not the sex. I could b wrong.
I realized I was totally the dude in that hook up. I came first and didn't wanna help him finish. And he had paisley sheets.
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Broke my ankle and blacked out on my scooter last night. 'Twas grand.
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
