he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
I messaged him asking for his address. He replied with the address then said, "If you're gonna stalk me, I'm the third window on the side and usually get naked around 8am and anytime randomly after 6pm (listen for music).. If you're sending anthrax, I'm 6'2" 225lbs so send a good amount."
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Randomize