I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
I looked her in the eye and told her I was 'balls deep' in love with her...She said that wasn't saying much. Time to drink away the sadness...
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
doing an easter egg hunt in a liquor store right now. i feel so adult
I hope you get some kind or rare disease that makes your dick ties itself in a knot for fucking her you lucky bastard.
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
Randomize
