I hate all girls vehemently.
May i just say it is extremely difficult to pee in a cape
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
I'm gonna wear that dress that makes me look like a slut. You know, the one your sister got arrested in.
Almost bit the guy's hand who sits in front of me because he was stretching. That. Bored.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
I just called my grandma crying, apologizing for being the first grandchild to have premarital sex...I'm either about to start my period or pregnant.
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
Randomize