I almost took home a boy from the bar last night, till i realized he was not speaking drunk, he was from another country and didnt know english. that could have been an awkward morning.
dollar beers will do that to you.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
I'm bringing a flask to the test on friday. If I'm gonna fail at least I can enjoy the experience
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
Randomize