So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
So after the reception we snuck back into the church for drunken hook up. we passed out there and woke up in time for 6am mass still dressed from the wedding. spiritually trashy or classy?
I didn't think I could chip a tooth while giving a blowjob until I met him.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
I know your texting costs money, but I'll pay for it if you consider this. Oversized frozen jello shots. I'll buy everything needed if you approve. Let me know
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
When i left he was drinking an entire pot of coffee out of the pot with a straw. It's safe to say he's using a personal day
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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