Haven't eaten in 11 hrs. I am gonna have so much material to talk about with anorexic girls now
Seriously, I'm delusional. Idk how these models even walk on the runway
You're so nebulous sometimes
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
let's get a trip to cabo together for next spring... they have to have forgotten about me by now
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
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