All I wanna do is sit in water and get drunk. The only thing more American is giving birth to eagles.
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
