I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I feel like i'm in "To Catch a Predator - The Musical"
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
It's the first weekend of the school year and I'm already selling stuff for booze. Need a microwave?
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
