also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
i had 75 notifications coming from ur status. here i was thinking i had friends.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
