I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
How many 'remember name' entries is it inappropriate to have in one's cell phone?
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
I think next time I give head I'm gonna try making the chewbacca noise.
I look forward to it
a day off where I don’t get laid would be worthless
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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