He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I threw up in a flower pot outside the bar last night and have a date tonight....I think I missed something
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
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