Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Oh my Christ. I just came so hard my penis stood back up and took a bow afterwards. I need Thai food.
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Had a dream we were competing for tomatos.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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