totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
She said you were bangin on the counters of McDonalds singing "These Eyes" at 4am
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Forgot to mention...Pamela Anderson has HPV, so i feel like im in good company
You missed out on a serious adventure. Cops were called. We put a chicken in someones house.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
Randomize
