Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
How does a face ride mean we're back together?
I'm sorry I told you to go fuck yourself after you said good morning to me when I was hungover.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
