I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
i threw up in his garden in front of like five people smoking a joint. they let me have a hit after i was done so it was okay
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
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