Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
his electricity got shut off. i felt like a pilgrim searching for his dick.
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
I forgot wine drunk hurts
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
Randomize
