im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
she said she missed her period, but is going to six flags... think im safe?
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
They just broke the window so they could get in and smoke the taxi driver out...
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
