I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
I just bought a bottle of dried bees on Etsy. I am the wrong person to talk you out of this.
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