That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
The guy in front of me got in the club with his green card, that's awesome
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
He was so high he started playing Twister on the striped rug. Then when we missed midnight he went on a screaming rampage about his New Year's Eve being meaningless. How do you think it went?
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
