I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
Being a responsible DD does not include attempting to coordinate a 4 taxi caravan to bar #3
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
You know it's really hard to draft fantasy football players in a crowded bar when I have a raging hard on
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
Randomize
