I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
i feel like spreading the word of drunken joy.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
Randomize
