Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
your facebook page is a work of drunk art.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
I just swallowed some ecstasy stuck in my nose from last night. Work should be interesting.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
It's not too terrible. You just got a little naked and broke your arm.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
Floor bacon is actually really good
I know her cup size but not her name....
Um. I just realized I still have a beer in my purse from last night. I'm at work. I am so classy.
Randomize
