he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
How do you say "I'm sorry I beat you up while cumming" in German?
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
someone at the bars was yelling at the bouncer to let him in because he "just passed through the 7 levels of the candy cane forrest" soulmate?
go meet him and give him your number.
Why do all my exes just become Tom Hanks in Castaway?
That's a fantastic question. And an odd set of criteria to meet if wanting to date you.
Randomize