Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
I respect the size of her balls.
Yeah but I don't respect the size of her anything else.
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
