I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
During sex he wiggled his hips and said "I'm turning the ice cream" Deal breaker?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
Yeah no problem. What are blow job angels for anyways
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
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