i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I wasn't concerned until I realized he was using the vase my birthday flowers came in as a " big glass" for his 151 and coke.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
Oh god. Just tried to hail a pizza delivery car. Awkward.
International sake day = success
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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