I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
you laugh because clearly you have never had to clean poop out of a tub
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
i don't think i ever formally apologized for that time i threw up on your dog.... well...here it is...
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
welp wont be popping out a kid with a beret. frenchie is gone and the mother nature showed herself. bilingual kid can be erased from the bucket list
So he says "my girlfriends coming over so you have to leave but I love you"
The dorm caught on fire so it turned into a 5am pool party
What is more embarrassing, shitting yourself in Mexico or having sex in a forest preserve with a 19 yr old? This is crucial research.
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
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