Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
