ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
