so i woke up with ketchup and a sticky boob on my face...this is a new low
fucking a dude
i mean: fucking a, dude
wow, that comma made all the difference there
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Plus it's a good way to scope out guys. Have them fight for you, like real males do in nature.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
soo... how was my night?
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize
