Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
I've struck affair-gold. He's hot, he's ripped, he doesn't want a relationship, and most importantly he won't have to ask Gods permission to bang me like the last religious nut job did.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
