Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
Randomize
