im pretty sure that there was a mint leaf in my poop this morning. i love mojito season.
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
