If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
Middle of vacation, he walked into an audition for a Broadway musical in a drunken stupor. I think he got the part.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Details are irrelevant. Come bail me out of jail.
i do my most serious thinking while screwing her. ive pondered everything from quantum physics to the life cycle of a badger. if i keep this up ill have a phd in no time.
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
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