this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
Omg just saw this kid I went to elementary school with at the bar and he used to be cool and I was so awkward but now I have boobs so I WIN.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
Weed is now completely legal in Colorado and Washington. I repeat weed is now legal! I'm putting a deposit down on a house as we speak.
ROADTRIP.
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
Randomize
