So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
Hey, I got 20% of the people home that I was responsible for. I can't be expected to do much more.
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
Woke up on a mattress on a roof this morning with a pair of briefs next to me. Oh fleet week.
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Promise me you will not let me do anything sexual with or to a mini horse no matter how drunk we get. Ever.
I found out my butt plug has a metal core at the airport security checkpoint...
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
wtf guys I thought we agreed on no more knives. So much for not destroying the house
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
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