Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
you dont seem to understand my overwhelming need to watch space jam right now
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
I just want to like rub my face on his abs
I need help
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I have a bad feeling I'm going to like this fuck buddy
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
I'm worried about us. We are almost 30 and we still drink jaeger bombs till we black out. Wait, no I'm not. I'm excited about us.
Randomize
