there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
She described me as " a caterpillar of adorable quietness that exploded into a slutty butterfly" She definitely nailed it there
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize