i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
Yea i traded my bed for half a bag of jimmy johns jalepno chips, am I proud of it no, Am I happy I did it? yes
just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
She came to the party with six kegs and a life sized portrait of Lavar Burton. SHE WILL BE MY WIFE.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Randomize
