There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
Im sure that doesnt mean its ruined... It was your bithday you get a free "im drunk at 7 am" card
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
He was the drug dealer that jumped out of his car to get my number
I was rolling balls and tried to donate blood as an act of kindness to the sick person who would receive it
I know this request is pointless but you two please try to keep the drinking and drug use to a minimal, I have bail money so write my number on your arm and a "if found call", wear a life jacket and act like a responsible 28 year old please.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
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