...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
If you were awake I would probably ride my bike over, fuck you like a god, leave you in the wonders of life, and bike home
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
And that is why we dont do tequila shooters at 1 in the afternoon. Because you go home with a beast like that
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
I can't go to the bars anymore. She wanted to see me again and I drunkenly told her I was moving today. If she spots me I'm fucked.
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
Randomize
