Tell her she can't have a vagina
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
This is worse that I thought. He's playing violin for me.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He insisted that I looked like Kiefer Sutherland, told me he didn't know what to do about it, then hugged me awkwardly.
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
Randomize
