found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
IM HUNGOVER AT MOTHERS DAY BRUNCH AND A NUN FROM CHURCH JOINED US
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
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