It's what's on the inside that counts(972): They probably have big open vaginas so the inside is no good
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
