I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I need an outfit for the bar tmrw that reads I have daddy issues and would like a fancy sugar daddy.
Can you pay somone's bail with a credit card or just cash? I feel like you would know this.
I just remembered how you stole the slinky from me. Bitch, I will NEVER forgive you.
I do not recommend playing football on LSD like at all
Randomize
