p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
Woke up with a retainer in my boxers and about ten chicks passed out around me. now I feel like something out of Cinderella, trying to find whose teeth fit in the glass retainer.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
i can now proudly say that ive peed off of a balcony overlooking the pacific ocean AND a balcony overlooking the atlantic ocean
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Randomize
