If he comes back to you and I'm left alone in lonelytown I'm totally going to poo on your car.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Hannah Montana > iCarly
I'm disregarding that text and your testicles entirely
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Randomize
