the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
Every time she shows up on my newsfeed, I get the taste of tequila in my mouth.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
Randomize