Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
