go do what you do best...puke behind churches
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
its so hard to text. the buttons are tickling my fingers
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I think snapchat is trying to tell you something. It's saying your boobs were meant to be seen by his family.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
Randomize
