the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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