Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
There still is not and there never will be anything as magical as getting high while listening to William Shatner's version of Bohemian Rhapsody.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
Masturbated furiously for a half hour; ate a fistful of chocolate, then took a nap. Woke up and finished wrapping presents. I've got this holiday thing down.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize