the bitch is dead man
YOUR DOG DIED?
no i meant my mom has passed out .. so i'll be over soon.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
My phone just put together a highlight reel of yesterday's dick pic session, set to music and everything
I licked your asshole in confidence.
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Randomize
