I just watched Juno. I kind of wish I was in highschool and pregnant
I just threw up on my dentist
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Dude, I'm thinking today is Single as Fuck Friday because that's how I'm feeling
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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