Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
I hope he doesn't find the chex mix when he takes my shirt off.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
trying to figure out what happened last night by looking around the apartment.
naked man under the piano. THE PLOT THICKENS.
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
She told me she loves wine, but hates the mud butt the next day. Dude, way to much info on a second date.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
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