yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Randomize