So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I just mixed tequila and nyquil in front of dad. hes making ambulance jokes but let me tell you its DELICIOUSSS
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
I have never heard someone not give a fuck so poetically in my life. I feel like you should be leading men into battle with a speech like that
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Everything isn’t always sunshine & rainbows. Sometimes there’s tequila.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
