??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
trying to imitate man vs food after 12 shots doesnt mean youll get laid
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Well he wouldn't kiss me so I made out with a German girl, took a shot with my boss, and I think I sprained my ankle. It was a quiet Sunday for me.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
You spilt a drink on my couch, then used my dog to mop it up... you called her a mop dog, repeatedly
I swear to god he thought my ass was a bag of wine last night.
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
Randomize
