we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I can neither confirm or deny any bear related allegations right at this time.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I have no idea why I said that. I have no idea why anything happened last night, I broke my toaster making a egg. I'm going to quit drinking.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
Rick two cubicles down puked and that triggered three others puking into their trash cans as well. The janitorial staff hates it when we go drinking on a work night.
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
