We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I just took like 30 condoms from the doctors office... no one can say I don't try to save my money.
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
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