i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
There's a skull full of vodka. How bad can it be?
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
