So I thought I was doing pretty good and then I sneezed and prematurely ejaculated...
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
I'm still not a hundred percent.. I haven't shit anything solid in two days.. I have pulled my puker muscles and I can't take deep breaths cuz of other unidentified muscles/maybe heart attack
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
All I wanted to do was come home from work and masturbate for national sex day... I sliced my the tip of finger giving myself a pedicure so I can’t even do that #singlelife
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