I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Can you call him, he said something about going to the balcony to pee and now hes texting me saying hes lost
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
well you're talking about the girl who after 4 years, several relationships and several fuck buddies, has yet to have sex in an actual bed
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
Also, we can't be seen together looking suspicious or sexually satisfied
Randomize
