I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Nicole vs. Life
Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
I have the most nasty and explicit wet dreams of my boss that I'm embarrassed to look him in the face. I'd be pregnant or promoted if he only knew
It's all part of my master plan: have him buy me all I can eat pizza and all I can drink beer AND THEN tell him there was no spark and we're better off as friends.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize