I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
So is chris hansen cool in person? Or is it just awkward while you wait for the cops?
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Does he cat effect his dick pics to you? Because THAT is true love
You're like the Mr. T of my A-team, only less gold jewelry and more pitying of fools.
That's the nicest thing anyone has said to me all day.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
its like my brain is a tree and you are those little cookie elves
almost just sent your mom a dick pic. almost.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Randomize