Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I think i found my new favorite workout. Go to a party where you dont know anybody and constantly walk around the house so you dont look awkward standing alone. im up to 1.8 miles
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
I am going to ride along with a cop tonight so please don't get arrested because that would be super awkward for me.
I'm out of town so we should be golden.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
We used a snorkel as a funnel. Can you say desperate?
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
The guy I hooked up with last night left me alone with his dog AND IT JUST SHIT ON THE FLOOR. WHAT DO I DO
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
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