TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
You sent me snap chats of you guys having sex. Like plural. It was like flip book porn, I'm traumatized.
Idk man, we spent like 20 mins arguing about the moral ambiguity of fucking in someone else's car
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
