dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
There's no winning that game with me. It's either "Can I walk home at the end of the night," or "am I throwing up trying to sleep in the front yard." Rules are irrelevant.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Randomize
