Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
He wrote me poetry. 12 hours after getting my number
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
..puke & rally mid art final. HAPPY CINCO DE MAYO!
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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