I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Why is there an empty beer bottle in the shower?
Why wouldn't there be.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
I just found out my birth date is Pick Your Poison Day. Goodbye, conscience, forever. I was born to live like this.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
Tip: never mention Guy Fieri during sex
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
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